Goodbye, October

In my teaching writing class, the professor always has us freewrite at the beginning of class. She's really awesome and provides us with fun prompts that spark something. Last class, she read us a Halloween story and then had us write about a Halloween memory. This is what I wrote:

One year for Halloween we went to my mom's small hometown of Monticello, Utah. We carved pumpkins and set them on the fence posts in my grandma's yard, their ghoulish flickering shapes orange against the fading night. In Monticello, you feel almost isolated from the world. At my grandma's house, that feeling is intensified. Only house on an empty street, surrounded by country and mountains. Quiet.

We walked around the entire town that night. The smell of woodsmoke was strong in the air, and the fallen leaves crunched under our feet.

It was weird though because the streets were empty. Hardly any trick or treaters in sight. This sleepy old town seemed to have tucked itself in for the night.

It was kind of like those creepy end of the world stories where everyone has disappeared. You walk the streets. No cars drive by. No sounds other than the scuffing of your feet.

When we headed back to my grandma's house, nothing was more comforting than those orange lights, glowing in the darkness.

So this was completely spur of the moment (freewrite) and I'm not putting it up because it's a literary masterpiece. I just like it, mostly for the memories it brings back. Monticello was such a huge part of my childhood and I find myself always reverting back to my experiences there in my writing. When my grandparents died, it felt that I had lost an essential part of my life. My family hardly goes to Monticello anymore and I miss it more than I realize. I've written countless short stories and poems all about Monticello and my grandparents. I've put them away for now, but someday when I'm ready I know I'll need to combine everything and write what I've always wanted to.

On another note, a much more shocking note, somebody burned our church on Friday night. They threw a rock through the window in the Bishop's office, broke in, and set the chapel on fire. The chapel is completely ruined and the rest of the building has extensive smoke and fire damage. Over 300,00 dollars worth. Another church nearby was also lit on fire, as well as a house. It's hard to believe that in this day somebody could actually do that. But then again, it makes perfect sense that somebody in this day could try to burn down a church.

But the church has everything all together. On Sunday we were efficiently set up already in another chapel, and things continued as usual for the most part. It's comforting to be a part of the church and to know that the Lord is always on our side, even when bad things happen.

On yet another note, Halloween was awesome. Since it was on Sunday, we had kind of an extended Halloween, celebrating it on Friday, Saturday, and eating way too much candy on Sunday. On Friday night Clarence and I went to Rach's where we made a delicous pumpkin roll and she made us carmel apple cider. It was all so spice-y and fallish. Then we watched Ravenous, a movie about cannibals that Clarence has been talking about since we started dating. It was weird and I don't really get it, but I guess it was supposed to be funny? I think I take things too seriously. Saturday was awesome--after the usual Saturday chores of cleaning the house and going to the grocery store, we all went to my parent's house for our Halloween party. Mom supplied her homemade chili and cornbread and everyone else added to the feast with seven layer bean dip, caramel apple dip, relish tray, and doughnuts and candy!

Needless to say, on Monday I wasn't feeling too happy with my body. Who would be after gorging all weekend? I've been struggling so much lately with my weight and myself. I'm so frustrated because I've gained 10 pounds since our wedding, and about 18 total since I lost 40 pounds two years ago. Weight is constantly on my mind and I'm so tired of it. I just want to be at a weight where I feel happy and comfortable and it's not a constant battle with myself. I've been going to the gym consistently several times a week since January, but I've decided to boost up my workouts and hopefully see more results. Last night I went to the power pump class, which is the best way to remind yourself that Oh yeah, I'm out of shape! I used to go to the class twice a week and I went for about 5 months, but I had a two month break once school started and things got crazy. But now I'm forcing myself to go, even if I'm dead tired and have mounds of homework. I've decided I've got to stop sacrificing my health for school. I can't believe how much strength I've lost just in these two months and my body is very sore today. But it feels good to know that I'm really pushing my body to its limit and working hard to achieve my goals. My ultimate goal weight is 135, but I'd be extremely happy if I could get down to 145. I've set up a system where every month if I've lost my goal amount of pounds then I'll reward myself. Yay for motivation!

Other than a few bumps, life is going pretty good and I can't complain. There's only six more weeks in the semester, and then I student teach! I can't wait to be done with classes and with driving to Provo every day. Clarence is doing really well this semester in his design classes. Some of his work was put in the design gallery a few weeks ago, which was really awesome to see on display when we went to it. He works so hard; on Sunday night he stayed up all night. All night. He wants recognition and he puts so much effort and time into all of his work. I hope it will all pay off when he graduates and he can find an awesome job! He's the best husband. He's so good about always helping me with dinners, doing the dishes, helping me clean on Saturdays, helping me make the grocery list, and going to the store with me. And he always just makes me feel so loved and is so patient with me when I'm bratty. I wish he had more time to record his music. He's written about 4 new songs recently, but he never gets a chance to record them. I know he could have so many opportunities if he just had the time to pursue them. He's been practicing though and he's going to start going to Velour's open mic night, so we'll start with that.

I guess that's that motto for this week, just start. Whatever you want to do or accomplish, it's never going to happen if you don't do it. Starting something is always hard because you don't see results right away, but you have to keep with it.