I'm sorry, my brain is melting

As I sit here on BYU campus trying to write a rough draft of my research paper due tomorrow, my brain is slowly melting. (Or rapidly? I can't tell. Maybe it's already gone.) Thus, this post. I'd rather spend my time thinking about my weekend camping trip with my family: the mountain sides covered in yellows and oranges, laughing around a warm camp fire, and eating our delicious dutch oven dinner that is a standard whenever we go camping.

Yeah.

It's beautiful weekends spent deep in the moutains with those I love most that make waking up this morning at 6:30, sitting on the jerky. stop. go. jerky. go. stop. bus for an hour and a half, sitting through two hours of class, waiting three hours on campus for the bus to come, and then riding that same jerky. stop. go. jerky. go. stop. bus for another hour and a half home, and then spending the rest of my night (literally, I don't go to bed until past midnight usually) doing more and more and more homework--all this makes me want to go "nah," and run away from school and from the utter ridiculousness of it all.

Sorry for the rant.

But even though I really don't think I can keep going, can keep up with the charade that sometimes is school, I know that I can't give up. I can't.

And school really isn't all that bad. I really do enjoy my classes and my professors, who make me so excited to be a teacher. It's just all of the excess that goes along with it.

I keep looking ahead to the future, thinking, "Someday I'll get to spend my days how I want to. Someday Clarence and I will get to go to bed at the same time, he won't have to stay up until 4 in the morning. Someday!" I know this is a dangerous pit to fall into. Living for tomorrow and not for today.

My life really is so beautiful, in so many ways. I guess that's what makes me the most frustrated. I feel like I have such limited time every day to take advantage of all of the wonderful things in my life. I rarely see my sister. I rarely get to spend time with Clarence, other than both sitting at our computers doing homework. I rarely get to go to the gym like I'd want and need to. And the list goes on.

Ok enough complaining! That's one of my faults. Working on it.

One day at a time. One breath at a time. Work through it all. Be happy. Prioritize.

That's all for now.

Thank you all who love me and who do so much for me. You make everything worth it.